Be Weary of the Tarsier

These tiny devious fucks are called Tarsiers.  They live in the jungle, are nocturnal, sell crack, and love to rock product.  Don't get it twisted, they will rob you point blank.  They come up to you with their disarmingly cute eyes and will then pull a switch blade on you and demand your pesos.  If you don't hand over your pesos they won't hesitate to slit your wrists... vertically.  You have to be very careful when in the vicinity of these creatures or the results could be dire.

We had a run in with a group of South Eastside Tarsiers in the province of Bohol yesterday.  We were on a "tour" of the country side when we stopped at what seemed to be a small roadside honey stand.  (I mean who doesn't appreciate fresh natural honey on their biscuits early in the morning.  To me, this is like a slice of home even while abroad.)  The afternoon quickly turned dark as we were approached by the alpha-male of the group who identified himself at Teddy Ruxbin.  He demanded all of my pesos, my iphone (so he could keep in touch with his crew more efficiently and listen to Animal Collective), and Jeremy's Rayban Wayfarers.  Apparently the Tarsier Indie / Hipster scene is larger than I thought.  We did as told and he let us go without incident.  

Despite our rough encounter, I still want to bring three to America, dress them in tiny Lost Boys Costumes, take them to the 3rd street promenade in Santa Monica, and have them re-enact the dinner scene from Hook when Peter Pan finds out he still does believe.  $$$

"You're doing it Peter"